GEMBA!

GEMBA

Career at a dead end? Think Davos is a ski resort? Never heard of Cathy Ashton? Well, what you need is a Global Executive Master of Business Administration degree. And we at GEMBA Instutute can provide that for you! With a GEMBA degree you can

  • have that appearance of confidence in all situations,
  • command respect from your peers for your brilliant decisions,
  • tap into global liquidity pools.

Do we maintain expensive real estate in London, Singapore, or Hong Kong? No way! We operate out of an abandoned factory in Essen, a former loan office of an Irish bank, and a worn out clementine orchard in Portugal. But wait! You don’t even have to go to any of these form-is-function utilitarian campuses. You can get your degree on line! Do we require a one year commitment? Absolutely not! Maybe a six month commitment? Guess again! We do it all for you in just five weekdays of four hour sessions: 10am through 2pm, including a two hour lunch from noon to 2 o’clock. (Think, you might want to work in Spain.)

How to we do that, you ask? Well, we have a first class faculty of publish-or-perish casualties from the finest European universities. Why is that so great, you ask again? Well, our faculty know stress, hardship, and yes, failure, and they have profited from those experiences to develop great careers of their own. After all, they are professors at GEMBA Institute! So, you can benefit from their many career stumbles, just so that you don’t have to make any of them. Think of that! An entire faculty of failures so that you will never become one.

Here’s what you will get from your GEMBA education: You will have at least five minutes of cocktail conversation on ten subjects impacting on modern society, including ‘global warming’ and ‘financial crisis.’ (When your five minutes are up just excuse yourself and go on to somebody else.) Also, you will get three PowerPoint© presentations all ready to go. You just read the slides to your audience, and if there are any questions simply say, “I’ll get back to you later on that.” Then, of course, you never do.

Therefore, if you

  • think lingua franca means French (it’s English, stupid,)
  • contract is a kind of bridge, and
  • Berlusconi can be found in the pasta section,

write immediately for our free brochure. It’s worth every penny.

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